Something like a Duck

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's not a cat

Hubba Bubba…

on May 17, 2012

…for you, not them! The Macgyver in me is so pumped (heehee) about today’s assignment for the 2012 Diabetes Blog Week! Today’s topic is to dream up a medical device for diabetic management. Ever since our very first blood check, I have been daydreaming about test strips. I hate hate hate those gosh darn strip bottles!! Zachary cannot seem to open one without a ‘snake nut can’ effect…POP goes the lid and CRASH go the strips! I am two seconds away from selling a kidney to pay for those little treasures, and here my child is spraying them like confetti. Not to mention that my husband is apparently related to Shrek, fat digits as proof. Watching him wiggle those sausage links into the container, squirming and grunting trying to capture the test strip…oh, it is too much!! My genius idea? Hubba Bubba Bubble Tape. I want a test strip container that is rolled up and dispenses one perfect strip with one simple tug. Attach the individual strips to a piece of waxy tape, coil them up, and deposit into container!! DONE! Are you hearing me, FreeStyle!? Can you read, One Touch!? Hola, Accu-check!! This is GOLD I am giving you here! 25.8 million people (in the USA alone) are effected by diabetes (type 1 and 2). That is 8% of our population digging around an impossible container for their life support! Little fingers, arthritic fingers, ogre fingers all struggling. Help us help ourselves! Please and thank you (good manners show we care.)

Now for us parents, I offer a diabetic improvement so AMAZE BALLS it will blow your mind… The blood sugar blow dart!! For caregivers of children with diabetes (CWD), nothing is more exhausting or tedious than chasing a small person across the back yard for a sugar reading. I have literally had to jump into the pool and drag my son over to the edge to poke at him.  Our sugar babies are supposed to maintain normality in their childhood; play and run and eat crayons like the rest of them. Of course, their ‘normal’ exists only with ‘abnormal’ treatment.  Soooo, I have always wished for my very own Aboriginal blow dart to sedate my three feral children with. Alas, the Department of Children Services would certainly frown upon such an idea. BUT if we could alter the tip of the dart with a tiny lancet/ blood strip sucker thingee that nails the target, absorbs the blood, and transmits the reading to a meter (in parent’s possession) all while the animal child is still in motion, that would be freaking phenomenal (and far more permissible)!! Heck, we could load a second dart with insulin and do BG corrections in sporting fashion!

We could get sponsorship from National Geographic.

Okay, so maybe one idea is more sensible than the other. But I stand firm behind the strip dispenser thing. If you need my consent (and address to mail the checks to), feel free to contact me, Mr. Blood Strip Maker Company.


2 responses to “Hubba Bubba…

  1. I’m literally LOLing at the blow darts! 🙂 So funny. I remember resorting to bribes when my then 5-year-old first was diagnosed and ran from us at shot time.

    • cruibal1 says:

      Well I am so happy you are so happy! We could tag team and take the ‘monkeys’ out! LOL
      My son doesn’t run too often now since 1) he’s a little older, and 2) he knows Mommy ran track! 😉
      I am ALL for the bribes! I know someone somewhere is going to shake their head at me, but I can’t tackle every battle with screaming and jumping like a chimpanzee. What kind of bribes worked for you?

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